phanphanphan:

part of me wants to do really well in school and get an amazing job and the other part of me just wants to lie on the floor and do nothing ever because i’m gonna die in the end anyway

avatardedpotterhead:

bootyguarcl:

lavalamp-of-epicness:

I didn’t get any cake yesterday cause apparently my dad was still working on it.

He brought it to school today and I’m just-

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how

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is all of that

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frickin sugar?

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wtf i think your dad just defied the law of physics and pastries

Is ur dad cake boss

flrebender:

moist is a disgusting word because it’s the only word that can describe both a cake and a diaper

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

sollux:

DO YOU EVER WANNA MEET SOMEONE IN PERSON SO BAD YOU GET ALL EXCITED THINKING ABOUT IT AND MENTALLY PLAN OUT A DAY EVEN THOUGH ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN